Me: So Maddie, can you describe for our audience how we met?
Maddie: I was the last of my brothers and sisters to find a home. It was a good thing you showed up when you did because I was about to go all "raging Peekapoo" on the two Pomeranians I was stuck with in the crate. I had slowly formulated my plan to exact revenge. In essence, you rescued the Pomeranians. Anyway, you picked me because I was so cute and lovable.
Me: And the only one left.
Maddie: You loved me. How could you not? I mean, seriously, look at my lovely locks and my underbite. You know, I am supermodel like.
Me: Can you give...
Maddie: Do you remember the time I skinned the possum? Good thing Marley saved the babies because I was going to train them to be my personal servants. I am a Warrior Princess, small in stature but mighty in spirit. I am the ultimate girl dog for you dad, you can take me hunting then dress me up and make me look pretty.
Me: A) I do not hunt and B) I most definitely DO NOT dress you up.
Maddie: True but thankfully we have Amy who likes to go shopping with me. She also makes sure I have my quarterly spa treatment. Looking this good requires some work you know?
Maddie: Do you like cats better than me?
Maddie: Am I not good enough for you? Am I too small? Does this harness make me look fat? Maybe I should go on a diet.
Me: What on earth are you talking about? Also, I am the one that is supposed to be asking the questions.
Maddie: You should stop talking. This article is about me. The readers are yearning to learn more about me! Pink is my favorite color which also happens to be my favorite musician. OMG! I know how to push Marley's buttons but in the end, she is my bestie. The verdict is still out on the other animals. As long as they know I am the queen, life is good for them. I am a lioness, hear me roar!
Maddie: Most importantly, I am a daddy's girl. I am very protective of you and you need rescuing from time to time from all the other animals. It is also important that I be at your side at all times. You need me, you really, really need me. Is that a wrap? I have a blueberry facial scrub scheduled at 5 today.
Me: Um, sure. Thanks for your time today.
Maddie: TTYL, Totes Def!